Who Really Makes the Buying Decisions?

By Mark Matteson - October 15, 2019

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The first year I was married, my wife Debbie made some changes to our new home. Gone were the cinder blocks and planks that held my extensive record collection, along with the coffee table I made in wood shop in high school. They were replaced by an elegant coffee table and a fancy shelf to store my LP's. You see, for a woman, the home is a very personal reflection of her good taste and personality. For a man, it's a place to watch the game. Venus vs. Mars.

Years ago, I shared the stage with Sharon Roberts. As we talked in the greenroom, she asked if I had written any books. I gave her a copy of my first book, Freedom from Fear. She reciprocated by giving me her book, Selling To Women & Couples: Secrets of Selling in the New Millennium. I read it that night in one sitting. (It's only 85 pages!) In this insightful book, she says, and I truly believe, "85% of all buying decisions in the home are made by… (wait for it!) WOMEN!" In my house, it's 110%!

Is this a firm fast rule that applies to every sale? No. It's just 85% of the time. You see, SHE is the Economic Buyer, HE is the Feasibility Buyer. She can say yes, he can say no. Your close ratio will increase if both SHE and HE are in the room. What is vital to remember is, give her at least as much, if not more, attention than him. If you disrespect her or simply forget that this simple idea is important, you will lose the sale and never know why.

In sales seminars I conduct, I ask the women in the room, "How many of you have been disrespected by a salesperson when you were with your husband or boyfriend?" EVERY woman raises her hand! Each one has a story with the common denominator being the absence of Appreciation, Respect and Understanding. There it is! A.R.U.

I have done hundreds of ride-alongs with comfort consultants and, if I am asked to participate in the sales process, the first thing I do is say to HER, "You have a lovely home…" (Appreciation.) The second thing I do is to give HER equal if not more eye contact; like an oscillating fan, my head goes back and forth from her to him and back. (Respect.) The third thing I do is to listen – really listen – to what she is saying. (Understanding.) It's Active Listening! When you make these three simple ideas a habit, the sale happens as a matter of course.

I really miss that old coffee table and all those LP's. But you know the old saw, "Happy Wife, Happy Life!" We have been married for 39 years. That's no accident. Now you know who really makes the decisions…


Mark Matteson

Bestselling Author of Freedom from Fear and A Simple Choice

Mark Matteson is an international speaker and best-selling author of 15 books. He has been called "The Oracle of Optimism", "A Superlative Street Scholar", "An Intense Idea-Reporter". Mark travels 250 days a year around the globe delivering 75 "Edu-Training" Keynotes, Seminars, Panel Discussions and Workshops a year. Mark is a gifted storyteller, using self-effacing humor, high levels of interaction and powerful and proven business principles to inspire audiences to the highest levels of productivity and profit. Mark leaves audiences wanting more…he began his career in HVAC in 1976.